Over the past 10 years, I’ve immersed myself in personal development and intentionally chosen to see the positive in every situation—no matter how hard, messy, or painful life became. This mindset didn’t happen overnight; it was born out of a time in my life when I felt like I was drowning in every aspect. I knew I wanted better, but I had no clue where to begin. So, I started with something simple—I began writing.
I took time to identify what I didn’t like about my life and, more importantly, what I did want from it. I knew deep down that change was possible, but first, I had to recognize exactly what I wanted. After that, I wrote down action steps, essentially creating a roadmap to guide my decisions. I told myself that as long as I followed this roadmap, I’d find my way out of the storm I was in.
At first, I thought it would be easy—just follow the plan, right? Wrong. That first year, I realized that real change is a lot harder than it seems on paper.
Yes, change is possible, but sometimes, that sh*t is really hard.
The deeper I got into my personal development journey, the more I came face-to-face with something called imposter syndrome. This psychological battle shows up when you start to grow and change, but don’t yet believe you’re capable or deserving of that change. It tends to flare up when you’re surrounded by people who are where you want to be, making you question if you’ll ever truly belong in that space.
But here’s what I learned: Imposter syndrome isn’t always a bad thing. It just means you care. It means you’re stepping into new territory, and that’s a sign you’re on the right path.
The more I grew, the louder the imposter syndrome became. Even though I knew I was worthy of the dreams I was chasing, a voice inside constantly whispered, “You’re not enough.” I battled that voice for the first two years, and only after putting in the hard work did it start to quiet down. Slowly but surely, I began stepping into my new life with more confidence. I discovered something I never knew I had—a superpower. That superpower is the ability to control my own mindset.
When Life Tested Everything, I Had Learned
Several years into my personal development journey, life threw me into a storm I never saw coming. My son was diagnosed with stage three cancer. Suddenly, everything I had learned and practiced about goal setting and positive thinking was about to be tested in a way I couldn’t have imagined. Hearing that your child may not live to see another year? It shakes your foundation. It made my career and financial goals seem irrelevant. In that moment, my mental goals became my only tools for survival. And yes, I mean that in the truest sense—survival.
Watching your child fight cancer is the hardest thing you could ever imagine.
In that isolated hospital room over the next six months, I wrote down every thought and emotion. When something didn’t feel right, I would pause and reflect, asking myself two crucial questions:
What exactly happened to trigger this emotional response?
Why am I feeling this way?
Through this process, I learned something vital: Our emotions often stem from past experiences, and if left unaddressed, they create patterns. By taking time to identify the source of my emotions, I was able to move through the situation more rationally, rather than being emotionally blindsided by past trauma.
Even though my original roadmap no longer seemed relevant, all the work I had done prior to my son’s diagnosis had truly changed my mindset. I became aware that even through the darkest storm, I could still choose to seek the blessing.
What I’ve Learned About Change
Today, I continue to approach life through a positive lens. Is my life perfect? Absolutely not. In fact, the amount of BS I face on a daily basis is almost unbelievable at times. But I’ve found a strength I didn’t know I had—the strength to choose how I respond to the chaos. I don’t let life’s challenges dictate my mindset anymore. I feel blessed to have discovered the superpower of owning my own thoughts.
Change is possible, no matter your circumstances or how hopeless things seem. But here’s what I want you to remember if you’re on your own journey:
Change doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time, persistence, and patience.
Change isn’t just something you do in public. It’s about how you act and interact with yourself in private.
Change is possible, but only if you’re willing to put in the work—on both good and bad days.
Most importantly—and I can’t stress this enough—change is only possible if you truly believe you are worthy of it.
The storms in life will come, but through each one, there’s always a blessing if you choose to see it. And no matter what you go through, you will always find what you’re looking for. So, choose wisely what you search for, because you hold the power to determine what you see.
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