Choosing to Empower Others
Life offers us countless opportunities to shine in the spotlight. Whether it’s an achievement, a nomination, or a once-in-a-lifetime experience, we’re often faced with the decision to embrace that moment for ourselves—or to pass the torch to someone else who may need it more. For me, this choice came in the form of a homecoming queen nomination.
At the time, being nominated for homecoming queen felt like a cool gesture, but it didn’t hold much weight in my heart. It was something I appreciated, but I knew that five or ten years down the road, it wouldn’t define who I was or where I was headed. However, for one of my closest friends, it was different. She had dreamed of becoming homecoming queen since she was a little girl. This wasn’t something she often spoke about, but knowing her as well as I did, I could see the weight and meaning this moment carried for her.
My friend wasn’t someone who wore her insecurities on her sleeve, but I knew they were there. For her, being homecoming queen wasn’t just about a title—it was about validation, confidence, and perhaps proving something to herself. And so, I made the decision to step aside. I rallied behind her, supported her, and watched as she got her moment to shine.
Looking back, it’s not a decision I’ve ever regretted. It taught me one of the most valuable lessons in life: sometimes, our greatest strength lies in recognizing the needs of others and lifting them up when we have the chance.
Kindness and mindfulness are deeply intertwined. To truly be kind, you must first be mindful. You have to take the time to notice what others are going through, to recognize their dreams, their struggles, and their insecurities. It's only when you take that step back to observe and listen that you can truly understand what someone else might need.
In that moment, my friend needed the spotlight, and I didn’t. My joy came from watching her live out her dream, not from being crowned myself. That decision was rooted in mindfulness—an awareness of her heart and the impact this would have on her in the long run.
But even in moments of kindness, we can’t always change the internal battles others are fighting. Twenty years later, this same friend tragically lost her battle with insecurity and took her own life. Her insecurities, hidden to most but known to me, haunted her for many years. Though I could empower her in that moment, and though I will always treasure the joy of watching her be homecoming queen, it wasn’t enough to erase the deeper struggles she carried.
This loss has been a powerful reminder of the complexity of mental health, the depth of human pain, and the importance of mindfulness not just in big moments, but in our ongoing relationships. While we can offer kindness, and we can lift others up, sometimes it’s not enough to heal wounds that have been carried for too long.
Kindness isn’t just about how we act—it’s about how we perceive the world around us. By being mindful, by paying attention to the needs of others, we can make choices that empower, uplift, and transform the lives of those we care about. But we must also recognize that some battles run deeper than we can know, and sometimes kindness is about walking with someone through their darkness, even when we can’t take it away.
Though my friend’s journey ended tragically, I hold onto the memory of that moment when she shone as homecoming queen. It reminds me of the importance of both kindness and mindfulness, of being there for others even when we don’t fully understand their struggles. And it reminds me of the power of love and support, even in the face of life’s hardest realities.
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